A serious look at the dangers of pharmaceutical research.

In direct contrast to yesterday's effort we have a creature feature done right.


#4 - Alligator - 1980

"I'm trying to fight male pattern baldness here OK? It's a sensitive subject so let's not hear any more about it"
-- David Madison

Ah this is more like it. Seeing as it's the weekend and I wanted to wash away the taste of yesterdays movie I thought I'd give this fun little movie a spin. It just goes to show that if you're a talented writer then you can make any idea (Like ooh lets say a giant Alligator in the Sewer) work. And work well.

We begin in the early 70's at what is proudly proclaimed to be a 'Alligator wrasslin' contest. You'll be glad to know that the 'wrassler' in question gets his leg chomped on, quickly establishing what is to become the theme of the film. Watching is a young girl and her family, who promptly buy a baby Alligator. Turns out that her Father, for reasons I still don't know, flies into a rage when the girl is at School and flushes the Alligator down the toilet, sending it into the sewer system where the local pharmaceutical company are dumping their waste. Fast forward 12 years and we meet David Madison, played by Robert Forster, as he's buying a Dog in a local petstore. The owner, in what is soon to become a running gag, notices Madison is going bald. It also transpires that the owner is also catching local dogs and selling them for medical experiments to, yes you guessed it, the aforementioned pharmaceutical company. Any immediate hatred you have for the character is satisfied minutes later when he becomes our first victim. Unless of course you count the 'wrassler'. Which I don't because frankly, if you're going to particpate in any kind of dangerous act with an Animal then you deserve to lose your leg. Like those people who agitate their dog and then get suprised when it turns around and bites them. You got what you deserved, now let's hope you learned your lesson.

Anyway, body parts start to turn up and David investigates, getting his partner killed in the process. He was annoying though, but i'm not sure that's reason enough to wish death by giant Alligator. There's a seedy reporter, played uncannily by who appears to be M. Night Shyamalan who becomes the third victim but manages to take some pictures while he's being eaten. Thus handily proving the existance of our sewer dwelling friend.

Madison visits a leading snake expert, played by Robin Riker and some fantastic hair. In a nice move, it turns out that she's the girl from the opening who's Alligator is flushed down the toilet. It's revealed in a throwaway moment that's funny to us, though she or any other character is in on the joke. Anyway, this all leads to some rampaging Alligator action in places where you'll otherwise not expect to see a giant Alligator. Such as the middle of the street and at a Wedding. You might scoff but consider this; We're treated to a scene in which a man is thrown through a wedding cake by a maurading Alligator, a poignant image that was replicated by Guns'N'Roses in their 'November Rain' video which came a whole 11 years later.

'Alligator' was a lot of fun all told. Robert Forster is great as Madison, whether worrying about his baldness or just walking around with chewing gum permanently in his mouth. It's easy to overact in a film like this, but Forster grounds it in reality. Well as real as you can get in a film like this. He's helped by John Sayles script, who keeps things just the right side of tongue in cheek. Sayles is also the writer of 'The Howling' and 'Pirhana' for one of my favourite film makers, Joe Dante. Sayles himself went on to become a director in his own right and he's never returned to his genre roots, a loss to us all really. Hokey effects aside, the film is well made by Lewis Teague who went on to direct 'Cujo'. He does the best with what he's given, but given this was 1980 he has to rely on some perspective tricks for what is basically an Alligator walking around an undersized set while someone shakes the camera. It's suprisingly low on gore two, though you do get the pleasure of seeing no less than two people being eaten feet first.

I might as well follow the weekend theme with another creature feature, so prepare yourselves for the glorious 'Shark Attack 3' starring John Barrowman and the best line in film history...