Why Brains? Why not?

#25 - Return Of The Living Dead - 1985

"See? You made me hurt myself again! I broke my hand off completely at the wrist this time, Tina! But that's okay, Darlin', because I love you, and that's why you have to let me EAT YOUR BRAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINS!"
--Freddy

Tonight's curious oddity comes from Director Dan O'Bannon (Who's actually only directed 2 films, but wrote 'Alien' and 'Total Recall') and is almost never mentioned whenever people discuss Zombie films. But don't let that put you off, it's not an indication of quality.

Teenager Freddy starts his new job at a medical supplies Warehouse. He's shown a cadaver, half a Dog used for Veterinary schools and a couple of Skeletons. His coworker Frank, informs him that 'Night Of The Living Dead' was based on a real case that happened some years previously. A nerve toxin was developed that was accidentally released into a Morgue, causing all the bodies to move around as if alive. The army didn't really know what to do with the Bodies so they just sealed them up into barrels, one of which was delivered in error to their supplies Warehouse, where it's sat ever since. Freddy obviously doesn't believe the story so Frank shows him the Canister with the body inside. Frank taps it on the side (To show how sturdy it is) and it breaks open, knocking them out and unleashing the Toxin.

Handily partying in a nearby Cemetery are a gang of punks including Freddy's girlfriend Tina, a guy who calls himself Suicide and looks just as silly as his name, and what I'm guessing is the slutty one as she takes of her clothes and does a sexy dance for everyone, played by B-Movie Queen Linnea Quigley. It's safe to say a few of these are going to be Zombie fodder soon enough. Their presence in the film probably explains the Poster image, even though none of those Zombies are actually in the film. But the film features a Punk-heavy soundtrack, and the Poster was obviously trying to capitalize on that scene.

It's not quite fair to call this a cash-in to the earlier Romero film. It does mention it, a number of times actually, but it's not really something that relies on the earlier film. If anything it grounds it in reality somewhat by saying "Hey that was just a movie, this thing is for real!". This is also far funnier than most Zombie films and breaks the so called "Rules" that each Zombie film must adhere to. In fact, it does everything the opposite of Romero's supposedly sacred series of films. These Zombies posses intelligence, they can run, they even talk. They don't care about eating Flesh, just the Brains because as one Zombie (Yes really) puts it, "It eases the pain of being Dead".

O'Bannon presents the whole thing as a farce. One incident leads on to another, then to another and so on, until it builds with no where else to go. Take the scene where Frank and Freddy try to kill the Medical Cadaver that's come alive. They call their boss Burt who advises them that something through the Brain will do the trick. So they pin the thing down and put an Axe through it's head. Of course it doesn't work so Burt saws it off at the neck. That doesn't work. So they cut the body up and take it to the Crematorium, the body parts in still moving bags and explain it away as Rabid Weasels that they need to burn.

The film is also surprisingly brutal in parts, with Freddy and Frank slowly turning to the undead. It's a painful process as they suffer rigor mortis while still alive, which I imagine is akin to having a cramp all over. It makes a change from the standard "I've secretly been bitten by something and I will slowly change during the course of the film, suddenly springing to life as one of the undead and surprising everyone" trick. It's a very vocal and public transformation they go through, and it works incredibly well.

I could talk about how the film features some commentary on the constant fuck ups made by the authorities, whether they be Police, Medical or Army. But that would mean giving too much of the film away. But I think it's safe to say O'Bannon probably has problems with Authority.

There are a series of sequels to this, but most of them are in name only. Excluding the first sequel which actually uses some of the same Actors, including those of Frank and Freddy, who have similar roles here - Even down to some of their dialogue. Watch that sequel but avoid the rest, including the preposterously titled 'Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave'