Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude.

#14 - Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight - 1995

"You know this "Hell on Earth" business? Big fucking deal - I've got hemorrhoids."
-- Roach

I was 13 in 1995. It was a year where 'Toy Story' was released to the public, James Bond made his return in 'Goldeneye' and Brad Pitt wanted to know what was in the Box in 'Se7en'. But this film has what all of those others lack, Billy Zane punching a man through his face and then pulling his head off. Why this didn't land the film a spot in the Top Ten highest grossing films of 1995 I don't know. Still, Zane went on to be in 'The Phantom', but as far as I recall he doesn't put his fist through someone's face. According to the poster he gets to 'Slam Evil' though, so maybe he does.

Anyway, this film was the first in an intended trilogy of 'Tales from the Crypt' movies that never saw fruition. In fact it ended with the terrible 'Bordello of Blood' (1996), a rush job of a film that hastily reworked a script from Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale (They wrote 'Back to the Future' for you uncultured heathens). It's sad that it never came to be, like the attempt at yearly 'Halloween' films that focused on a different story. But we'll get to that when I take a look at the first (And last) of those attempts with 'Halloween 3: Season of the Witch'

This film starts with a man (William Sadler) heading down the road in his Car, while being chased by 'The Collector' (Billy Zane). There's a crash, and the man escapes, eventually getting holed up in a hotel where we're met with an array of characters (And mainly all recognisable faces). There's the whore (Brenda Bakke - Ok so I don't know her either, but right after this she appeared in 'Under Seige 2', so the 90's was a good time for her), there's the owner (CCH Pounder), there's the worker (Jada Pinkett Smith), the prick (Thomas Haden Church), the lovelorn geek (Played by Charles Fleischer - You know him as the voice of Roger Rabbit) and the kindly but boozy old guy (Played by genre mainstay Dick Miller). The Man has a key and The Collector wants it, being as they key is pretty important the Man isn't just going to give it up, so The Collector sends in his horde of Demons.

And right there is your plot.

The film is a blast, it doesn't really slow down all that much, and even when it does it's still pretty entertaining. Zane is having a great time, even though he sort of takes a backseat for a lot of the film. He uses his smarmy charm to great effect and weirdly enough he reminded me of someone like Russel Brand. Not in the way he looks of course, but in his "I'm better than all of you" style of delivery. It also helps that he's backed up by a cast that take things just lightly enough, without descending into parody.

The effects are impressive. Apart from the aforementioned (And glorious) face punching, there's multiple shots to the face, an arm being ripped off, Deer Antlers through the eyes and a head being blown apart, shotgun-style. All of it is ably handled by Ernest Dickerson, largely a TV director who went on to Direct some episodes of 'Heroes' and 'The Wire' (Greatest show of all time). He handles the transition to the big screen with aplomb and it's a shame that he went back to TV, maybe there's just not that much work for Black Directors in Hollywood.

Oh and continuing a somewhat disturbing theme throughout all these films, there's a kid who's turned into a Demon and is then blown up.

Now that my friends, is what I call entertainment.